Feast or famine...right now it's famine like a mug

My life pretty much consists of work, work, work, classes, hanging out with the girls, spending time with fam...I have a pretty full plate in front of me. But my romantic life is virtually nonexistent. I have absolutely no dating prospects. I have one friend I would date, but the timing is bad. He has lots of potential but he has the mindset of a teenage boy and I'm not digging that. For that reason he remains in the friend zone.

Lack of romance usually doesn't affect me much. I appreciate my solitude, I'm happy with my life and with who I am. I also feel that I'm much better off alone rather than dating some of the guys who cross my path. Seriously, most of them aren't worth a damn. Over the past few years I have encountered very few quality men.

It's not as if I'm one of those diva chicks who has unrealistically high standards and therefore no man is worth being in her presence. My only materialistic qualifications are that a guy should have a job, a car, and be ambitious and well groomed. To me, it's more important that the guy I date treats me with respect, is generous and open minded, fun, easy to talk to, and can fuck the shit out of me and make me scream for Jesus. Most other things are negotiable.

It's so surprising to me how many men there are out there who act like it is impossible to treat a woman with respect (see here, here, here, and here too...damn! Just read the archives.) Respect is one quality that is absolutely non-negotiable. If a man can't respect me then we shouldn't see each other. I think that's why I have no dating prospects. When someone doesn't respect me, I show him the door. I do give them the chance to redeem themselves, but I only give so many chances to come correct. I'm not going to continually let someone treat me bad.

I have to admit that much of my dating drought is self-imposed. It's not as if I don't meet people. I meet men all the time. It's just that most of the ones I meet aren't right for me. Often times they aren't even people I would want to be friends with. I don't want a man just to have one. I want to be with someone who is right for me.

I'm sure the right person for me is out there. I guess right now I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm becoming ready to settle down, but most of the men in my age group aren't. I don't dwell on the fact that I'm single. I don't feel sorry for myself. I'm happy with my life. It would just be nice to have someone to share things with. I'm a woman, it's perfectly normal for me to feel this way.

An upside to not dating anyone is that it allows me to heal and dispose of the excess baggage left behind from past relationships. I haven't had a real relationship in over two years, but dammit some of the people I've dated since then have created some serious emotional baggage. But I've learned a lot, and I'll be emotionally ready for Mr. Right when I meet him.

What's cracking this weekend, girl?

This weekend kicks off the unofficial start to summer. Events, people coming to town, parties...there's a lot going on Memorial Day weekend in the City of Angels. In addition to holiday weekend events, my best friend's birthday is this weekend, and one of my college buddies is graduating from her master's program @ Long Beach State tomorrow. She's having a grad party tomorrow after the ceremony. Too many things to do, not enough time!

My tenative plan for the weekend is as follows:

Tonight (Friday) - study and complete assignments for my classes. Later on this evening spend some time with my friend...I would dish a little more about him but I need to think of a pseudonym for him (shutup RP!). Don't worry, I'll be sure to dedicate an entire post (maybe two!) detailing the situation with this one. Here's a little bit of a spoiler: we've been really close friends for several years and for some reason we never took things further than a platonic friendship. Lately it seems like things are progressing...

Saturday - car wash, mani/pedi, gym (hopefully), and get hair done. May need to hit up the mall. Saturday night go to my friend's grad party or go out with the girls.

Sunday - brunch w/my best friend, spend time w/the fam, then after the sun goes down hit up a Memorial Day party. Going out on a Sunday just because I can!

Monday - UCLA Reggae Festival. This will entail exorbitant amounts of cush, Jamaican beer, and hollering at random negroes who serve for no other purpose other than to give me things to write about in my blog.

That's it for now ya'll. I'm sure over the next few days I will have quite a bit to write about. Be safe, be cool.

Peace.

Wallet on fire

I'm fortunate enough to have been blessed with a windfall, but I don't know what to do with it. Obviously part of it automatically goes into savings, but now I have a little extra dough and I don't know what to do with it. I paid my bills for the month already so I have a little to burn. Just a little.

My first mind said to go shopping for some clothes, get a mani/pedi, maybe a facial, or go ahead and splurge on the body polish package I've been eyeing at the day spa. Or maybe I can put myself ahead on my bills. I have other things I need but I've been procrastinating on -- getting my passport, a few things for the car, buying work clothes.

I guess the best thing to do is prioritize and decide what's most important right now. Take care of the most important stuff first and do what I want with what's left over.

I'm about to get dressed and hit the mall. Peace. ;-)

Maybe I'm Just Not Into You...

Last night was the date with FAREB. If I had to summarize it in one sentence, I would say that I don't think we'll be seeing each other anymore.

Brief overview of the date: we went to the movies and saw Disturbia. Pretty good movie if you like thrillers.

I think its safe to say that I don't think FAREB is that interested in getting to know me. We made small talk during the ride to and from the theater, and all he talked about was himself. Namely, how he was going to trade in his Infiniti truck for a Mercedes two seater, how he can't wait to get new furniture for his loft apartment, and how he was going to have a crackin' ass birthday party next month. *Yawn* The only time he seemed really interested in anything I had to say was when it pertained to why I wasn't all over him. Yes, he seriously said that to me.

When he drove me back to my car we hugged, and he said to me, "You know, I'm starting to question the chemistry between us."

"Why?" I asked. "Is it because I'm not all over you trying to hump your leg?" (I was being sarcastic.)

"Well...yea," he said.

"Are you seriously used to women who are all over you?" I said.

"Yea. I think its strange that you're not."

"Well, I don't know any other way to say this than to say that I don't operate like that. We've only gone out on two dates and spent time together a total of three times. I don't think that warrants too much physical contact. Plus, I'm not the type of person who is going to be all over someone I don't really know. I don't sweat anyone."

I was met with a blank look. So I said, "Well I'm going to let you marinate on that. Have a good night."

I called him when I got home to let him know I made it and he didn't answer. Nor did he call me back at all today. I don't think I'm going to hear from him again.

That's fine with me. Last night I realized that I didn't really like FAREB. Sure he's hot and successful, but he has the personality of a bag o' nickels. His attitude detracts from his looks and I found myself becoming less and less attracted to him the more I got to know him. I don't even want to do him anymore because he kept asking me why I wasn't on his jock. He may have been able to get it if he would have stopped asking for it. He needs a woman who is going to continuously tell him how great he is, who has no self esteem of her own and who spends all her time showering him with attention.

I hope he finds what he's looking for.

Peace.

Getting up with FAREB this weekend...

Tomorrow I have a date with FAREB. Mr. "I don't like taking people out on dates because I don't know where things are going to go." How about a nice refreshing glass of shut the fuck up? You're taking me out. If you didn't do the dating thing before you're about to start now.

The plan is to catch a movie and maybe play a few games of pool. He claims that he will whoop off on me in a game of billiards but I know I can bring that negro to his knees (not just in pool ;-)). I'm always up for friendly competition mixed with a little sexual tension so it will be fun.

I ain't gon lie. I want him butt naked on top of me asking me how I like it. I guess I have a thing for assholes. Especially assholes with nice pecs and abs. But I like assholes who are sweet to me. He can be an asshole to the world but treat me like a queen.

I can't really say right now where I want things to go with FAREB. Sometimes I think he's cool, other times he's a jerk who can go fuck himself. Eh. We'll see what happens.

Peace.

Monday's Melancholy

It feels like a fucking sauna. The sun has long set and I'm sitting here at my keyboard sweating like a runaway slave. It's gonna be a hot ass summer.

I don't feel like doing anything. I have some studying to do, I'm supposed to be looking for an excel class, and my room can stand a little cleaning. But I don't wanna. I need a mental break. At the same time I feel restless. I'm all over the place aren't I?

If nothing else I had a productive day at work. I accomplished quite a bit today. For awhile I felt like I had hit a wall in my position but recently my job responsibilities expanded. I'm doing work that is interesting and very important, so now I feel like I'm relevant to my company.

My goal is to learn as much as I can and advance as far as I can within my company and then move on. I love working in marketing but I don't foresee myself marketing insurance forever. Thankfully the skills I'm learning can be utilized in nearly any industry.

My career is going well but my romantic life is crap. It's virtually nonexistent. It seems like when one area of my life is going well, other areas tend to falter a little. E is completely out of the picture. FAREB is still a pretentious jerk, whose asshole-ness turns me off more and more whenever we talk. The pseudo is trying to make a comeback but I'm not interested in dating him anymore (check my angry rant about the pseudo here).

I think I need to start fresh and purge all the worthless fools from my dating rolodex. Thankfully I don't have a problem meeting people -- I just have a problem meeting quality men. They are pretty scarce.

It's really hard out there but I'm staying optimistic. I'm learning to not waste my time with certain types of people even if that means being alone for awhile. I can't allow my life to be crowded with bullshit.

Peace.

Random work musings...on my off day

I've had a hellish week. Words cannot express how happy I am to get some time to relax and do absolutely nothing except for what I want to do.

Work is a beast. Someone quit on our web team so I've been picking up the slack. I'm doing my own job as well as someone else's. Well, I guess I'm not simply "picking up the slack" since I was informed yesterday that the duties that I've been undertaking are permanent. I think that deserves a new job title. My company doesn't really use formal job titles, so I guess I'll have to make up my own.

I should make it clear that I have absolutely no experience in web marketing so I'm getting a crash course. I'm a total newbie to the web marketing game. I have to be honest, I didn't think I would be that interested in web marketing but the more I'm learning about it the more I'm interested. E-commerce is what's up so there are definite career possibilities in this field. The skills I'm learning on the job are invaluable and I'm thankful that I'm given the opportunities that I've received. I can take what I'm learning and apply it to any area of business. I've taken on quite a bit of responsibility since being on my job for all of 9 months. I'm documenting it all so that when the time comes for my annual review I can ask for a raise.

My goal is to learn as much as I can and move up as much as I can within my company. Once I get to the point where I'm stagnant that means its time for me to move on.

Random ass shit...a new guy had been hired for our web team and he stayed with us for about a month. He called his supervisor on Friday to resign. I think he left her a voicemail. Sidebar: what kind of shit is that? Have the decency to give your employer at least two weeks notice. Tacky. Anyway, dude resigned because he decided that he wanted to pursue his passion full time. He wants to pursue a career as a bounty hunter. Bounty hunter. Like Dog the Bounty Hunter. Are you fucking kidding me?

That shit is mad random. I really don't get how someone can go from web marketing to a bounty hunter. But, to each his own. I'm all for pursuing one's passion. I wouldn't want anyone to knock me for wanting to pursue my dream of being the next greatest female DJ. How does DJ Diva sound?

Peace.