Monday's Melancholy

It feels like a fucking sauna. The sun has long set and I'm sitting here at my keyboard sweating like a runaway slave. It's gonna be a hot ass summer.

I don't feel like doing anything. I have some studying to do, I'm supposed to be looking for an excel class, and my room can stand a little cleaning. But I don't wanna. I need a mental break. At the same time I feel restless. I'm all over the place aren't I?

If nothing else I had a productive day at work. I accomplished quite a bit today. For awhile I felt like I had hit a wall in my position but recently my job responsibilities expanded. I'm doing work that is interesting and very important, so now I feel like I'm relevant to my company.

My goal is to learn as much as I can and advance as far as I can within my company and then move on. I love working in marketing but I don't foresee myself marketing insurance forever. Thankfully the skills I'm learning can be utilized in nearly any industry.

My career is going well but my romantic life is crap. It's virtually nonexistent. It seems like when one area of my life is going well, other areas tend to falter a little. E is completely out of the picture. FAREB is still a pretentious jerk, whose asshole-ness turns me off more and more whenever we talk. The pseudo is trying to make a comeback but I'm not interested in dating him anymore (check my angry rant about the pseudo here).

I think I need to start fresh and purge all the worthless fools from my dating rolodex. Thankfully I don't have a problem meeting people -- I just have a problem meeting quality men. They are pretty scarce.

It's really hard out there but I'm staying optimistic. I'm learning to not waste my time with certain types of people even if that means being alone for awhile. I can't allow my life to be crowded with bullshit.

Peace.