Shake Em' Off

I thrive when my life is fast paced and busy. When things are slow, I feel weird then I get lazy. I'd take an overpacked schedule with moments of peace over a slow paced lifestyle anyday.

Since I have a lot going on in my life between work, classes, family, friends, having a social life and squeezing in time for self, I have to do an inventory every once in awhile and drop the dead weight in my life. As I evolve as a person I have to eliminate things that are no longer working for me. I have to streamline things in order to keep my life running smoothly.

I had to discontinue a situation with someone who had recently come back into my life after a few years. We used to see one another maybe four or five years ago, and we sort of fell off. We picked back up in the late summer of this year. Initially things were okay, but as time passed I began to see that this person was not the same person I knew back in the day. He seemed to have changed for the worse, and I didn't necessarily like the person that he had become. It could be that I changed too. I tried to stick out because we had a history already, but I couldn't have someone around me who wasn't treating me with respect and who didn't make the effort to make sure that we maintained a connection. It could be that this person was always an asshole and I just turned a blind eye to it. I don't know. But I'm glad that I opened my eyes to see him for who he really is before I invested too much of myself into the situation. I can't have people around me who detract from my life.

I'm usually apprehensive about confronting people and breaking things off. I don't really like confrontation, because it can breed conflict, and I don't like conflict. But sometimes confrontation is a necessary evil. In this situation I had to take the liberty of confronting this person and telling him that our situation wasn't working for me and that I needed to move on with my life. He didn't take it well, but I think he understands where I am coming from. Sucks that things didn't work out, but it just wasn't in God's plan for us.

Oddly enough, for someone who doesn't like confrontation, I felt liberated after I did it. In a way I felt like I conquered a fear of mine as well as removing something negative from my life.