BGI is a heathen...
...according to my grandma. I don't know why I'm sitting here trying to explain to 70-something year old Christian (a Baptist at that) that I don't like going to church. I catch heat from Moms and grandma for not going to church. They don't understand why I don't want to go.
Part of my reasoning is pretty much the same as you would expect from someone who grew up in church and stopped going once they became an adult. The black church is full of hypocrites, shady types, etc. The ones in the choir stands and in the front pews testifying and shouting are the same ones sinning (sinnin' real hard!) Monday through Saturday.
Not only that, but I simply don't feel the need to go to church to praise the lord. According the G-ma, since I don't go to church I must be a non-believer. Going to church is the only way to ensure my ticket to heaven. I just don't think its so black and white. Real life doesn't work that way. Sometimes it kind of bugs me when people choose to keep their blinders on.
They think I'm just spitting noise, but I have my own personal relationship with God. I incorporate God into every aspect of my life. I express my thanks to the heavenly father on the daily and I know where my blessings come from. I just don't feel like I need to go to church to express that.
I don't want to knock church too much though. As I said, I grew up in church and I believe that religion provides a moral base from which people should live their life. When I have children I'll probably take mine to church regularly too. I just feel as an individual I have the right to decide where and how I choose to praise the lord. I don't knock them for going to church Sunday after Sunday, so they shouldn't knock me for not going. Everything ain't for everybody.
I just want to live my life on my terms. And that means taking the teachings of my religion and applying them to my own life. I don't believe that religion is one size fits all, what you get out of it depends on you.
I already know that trying to explain this to hard-core black Christians is like talking to a wall. So I'll just continue to take the punches thrown at me in the name of the Lord.
posted by Black Girl Interrupted @ Sunday, April 08, 2007
6 Comments:
Thanks for the add, I feel so loved! I absolutely agree with you, my mother is a devout Christian, Sunday School teacher and Choir member. Ever since the 4th grade I've been in church sunday school, bible study and every church program every time the church opened. Now that I'm in college away from home I dont go at all but it hasnt had an effect on my faith or my knowledge that God is around me and always with me. I don't think its a bad idea to go every once in a while but I doubt I'll be an every sunday attendee for a good minute!
Sorry this comment got so long :)
@ diamond - you're very welcome mamacita! i agree that its not a bad idea to go every once in awhile but speaking for myself, i'm not one of those every single sunday people. oh, and no worries about the long comment, it gets like that sometimes.
Thanks for the love.
And yes, I "defected" from the church as well. I couldn't deal but that doesn't mean I defected from God. HE is in my life everyday. It took a while for my grandmother to accept that but she did.
@ funky fresh - you're welcome. i'm in total agreement with you. it really bugs me when people, especially family, get all preachy and make it seem like i'm going to be condemned because i don't do what they do. real talk, i think that's what it's really about.
I know how that is. I dont go to church like I "should" either. I have my own special relationship with God and I hate it when people tell me how to worship.
@ sache - i think this is your first time commenting on my blog so I want to say thanks! i see i'm not the only one who doesn't go to church like my family thinks i should. my theory is that each person should worship how they see fit.
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