Booty Call Do's and Dont's

I'm a firm believer that there are certain rules of etiquette to be followed when it comes to booty calls. For example, it is polite to call your booty call prior to going out and let them know that you will be hitting them up after you leave the club. That way when you are drunk and horny at 3 am you won't be pissed because your booty call didn't answer when you called.

Another rule of thumb for booty calls is to get your ass up and leave after the deed is done. I'm not saying that you are just supposed to hop off the D and peace out, but don't linger for more than an hour or so.

A slept on but very pertinent booty call rule: DO NOT DATE YOUR BOOTY CALL. This one is not to be confused with situations such as friends with benefits, who spend time together fully clothed. This rules applies to situations were the relationship is mainly physical. I have to admit that I violated this rule when I was experiencing a dating famine, and I am still dealing with the repercussions.

I should rewind and give a little background on the situation. The year: 2001. I met D during my freshman year in college. I was 19 and he was 23. We met at a poetry reading on campus. We made eye contact and there was an immediate attraction. He was tall, sexy, chocolate, and athletic. Made me absolutely weak. We started seeing each other and eventually our relationship turned into something purely physical. The sex was amazing, but for whatever reason the situation fizzled out after a few months.

Fast forward to 2006. I'm at the Garden of Eden shaking my ass and who do I run into on the dance floor but D? He was looking right too, especially after four Soco & lime shots. He leans over and asks me, "So what are you doing after you leave the club? I would love to spend some time with you." Thoughts of our past dealings quickly flashed through my mind, and I was like "Here's my number. Call me when you leave here." And just like that we hooked up one more time.

Although we only booty called each other again that one time, we ended up having several phone conversations over the next few weeks, during which time D asked me out on a date. I was a little skeptical at first, but at that time I wasn't seeing anyone so I said to myself, "What the hell. Why not?"

It probably wasn't a good idea to go out on a date with D. Some relationships are not to be removed from their original contexts, and that was definitely one of them. His first faux pas was that he wore sweats and a T-shirt to dinner. What part of the game is that? I agree with being casual but you shouldn't look like you are going to the gym on a date. Second faux pas: this negro was cheap as hell! While we were browsing the menu he kept complaining about the prices. Cheap men are NOT sexy. Just tacky. The third and final faux pas was when he tried to stick his tongue down my throat and feel me up in public! Any man I date knows that I prefer to keep the PDAs PG. I'm not about to make out in public.

So, I didn't really enjoy that date. And honestly, I wasn't really even attracted to D anymore. I had planned on keeping him around as my emergency dick in the glass, but since I didn't really like who he was as a person I for damn sure wasn't sleeping with him. And what makes the situation worse is that D constantly calls and texts me wondering why I won't give him the time of day. We haven't hooked up for seven months and he still tries to get me to go out with him again. I suppose he thinks that since we hooked up that one time and we went out that its all good. He still hasn't got the hint quite yet.

So kiddies, what's the moral of the story? If you want to keep your booty call situation as is, don't ruin it by moving the situation out of the bedroom. If it ain't broke don't fix it.