Just Reflecting

It seems like when you stop looking, you find someone who truly complements you. At least that has been my experience for the past couple of months. I had been on a man-break for a year when fate brought someone wonderful my way. I suppose when you are truly single, it gives you the opportunity to do a self-evaluation and rebuild yourself from broken past relationships.

Once upon a time I was a person who moved from relationship to relationship with no break in between. And I always wondered, why do I keep experiencing hurt from men over and over again? At first I blamed men in general, citing their inability to be faithful and caring. I figured they lacked the innate ability to consider other besides themselves. This is the case for many men (and women), but I began to realize that it was unfair to blame the male species when I was allowing myself to experience heartache. If I keep experiencing the same thing over and over again, maybe I should look into myself and see what is going on. If the pattern keeps repeating itself, its not them, its me.

Upon doing some soul-searching, I stopped looking for someone else to love me and make me happy. Of course I do want those things, but I have to do those things myself in order for someone else to do it. I don't think I completely lacked self-love and appreciation, but I thought that it would somehow validate me if I received those things from a man. I found that the goal was not to find someone who completes you, but complements you.

Its important to be honest with yourself. It is important to consider the motivation for being with someone. Is it because you truly care about that person and enjoy them, or is it because you just want to be with somebody, anybody?

This go 'round I know better. I don't know things are going to transpire this time. I'm hoping for the best, because dude is mad cool. Hopefully things will work out. If it doesn't, it would suck ass, but I suppose it would mean that destiny had someone else in mind for me.

A Sista is Tired

So far, so good. The new job is going well, as far as I can tell from the first couple of days. Of course, I'm the only speck of brown in a sea of white faces, but that's nothing new. I'm also the youngest person there, which is also nothing new. The work environment doesn't seem to be clique-filled, so thats good.

I had a pretty good first day of work yesterday. Apparently this week is "Administrative Professional Appreciation Week," so I got a card and a gift card to Macy's. For real? I looked on my calendar and it doesn't commemorate any such day, but I don't give a shit. I get a gift on my first day of work? Good sign. They also gave a welcome lunch for me. I felt damn special. The only thing missing was cake and ice cream. Then we are having lunch again tomorrow for some reason or another. All I can say is I'm happy in a work environment where free food is frequently given.

After work, me and the pseudo-bf went to see Keyshia Cole at the House of Blues. Robin Thicke opened for her. Blah. He's fly for a WB, but his performance was dull. He needs to work on his stage presence. Keyshia rocked it last night. She looked really pretty; her hair was all one color. She was like Mary Jr. out there. Her voice carries so much emotion. Funny shit: right before Keyshia came out to perform, two girl started fighting in the crowd. We had a bird's eye view, because we were chillin on the top level. That was a good fight. Hair pulling, punching, lost shoes, etc. It took three big burly ass security guards to break up that fight.

But the show was good. I had a good buzz going. I got piped later that night, which is why I am so tired today. But it was worth it.

New Beginnings

This is my last day of freedom. Tomorrow I start the new job. I am excited, nervous, and a little apprehensive at the same time. I am also happy, because I'm sick of being broke. All weekend I've been mentally prepping myself for my re-entry into the work world. I had only been out of work for six weeks, but it seems like ages.

I'm apprehensive because I hope this job isn't as shitty as the last one I had. I know that wherever I go there is going to be bullshit, but I just hope the bullshit is at a minimum at the new job.

The thing that really sucks is that I am going to have to wake up earlier. The commute to the Westside is going to be a bitch. I can justify it to myself by using the time in traffic as my alone time, and to listen to music and catch up on conversations with people.

And, I will have to dress business casual from now on. I've been a little spoiled, because at the last firm I worked at, I could wear jeans, tennis shoes, flip-flops, whatever I wanted. Now I have to accumulate a real work wardrobe. I suppose that's a good thing. If I wear skirts and heels everyday, no one will ask me to do anything that requires me to bend down or lift anything. I may sound lazy, but I don't care.

I guess I'll go and figure out what I am going to do with my hair. Its a hot mess right about now, so I'm going to apply some heat to it and pray for the best.

Hello World!

I am Black Girl Interrupted. I am an early-to-mid-twenties West Coast diva trying to carve out her niche and establish her place in the world. I am very cynical and opinionated, but I am the coolest, most laid back chick you will ever meet. You'll get to know me more over time, so lay back, kick it, and enjoy the ride!