Oh Hell No! (DC Edition)

I almost had the opportunity to get it in with someone who I have been physically attracted to since homecoming last year. Me & J, who is a friend of a friend, have a pretty strong sexual attraction to one another. Honestly I can't say that I really like him as a person, but I just really wanted to do him. I wanted to get that out of my system.

So imagine my glee when I saw J this year when I went to DC. I was planning on banging him something serious when the opportunity presented itself. And present itself it did after we left Bohemian Cavern together last Thursday night. After we got rid of all our friends, I went with him back to his place in Arlington.

We talked for a minute, then we started kissing. *Sighing* I'm a true believer that the way a person kisses is indicative of their skills in the sack. And if J's kissing skills are an indication of his skills, I would have been in for a huge disappointment. You would think by looking at J that he would be a divine kisser. He's so sexy! But no. This mofo kisses like a damn lizard! His mouth was all dry and shit, and he did the thing where he was just kind of sucking on my bottom lip. Ew! He was by far one of the worst kissers I have ever experienced.

"But it's now or never," I thought to myself. "I need to relieve this frustration, so we need to get it on now!" So J moved his hands down and began to touch my breasts. He took my nipples into his mouth...and proceeded to gnaw on them! What. The. Hell! Note: men, we don't like when you suck on our nipples really hard. That shit hurts. Its not sexy. That shit you see on porn is not real. Be gentle! After I let J have access to my breasts my damn nipples were peeling for three days. No lie!

And please don't let me get started on the manual action. Well, I'm already started so I'll keep going. He called himself trying to stimulate me by jamming his big ass dry fingers in my vagina. Lubrication is the name of the game. Learn it, use it, love it. I was trying to let him know that what he was doing wasn't the business, but I think he misread my signs. I finally had to grab his hand and remove it from my vaginal area before he fucked around and irritated my shit.

Now this may be TMI for my male readers, so if you don't want to hear about another man's dick, stop reading...but this negro had the ugliest penis I've ever seen. I believe penises can be beautiful. My LA piece has one of the most beautiful penises I've ever seen. But J's was an odd shade of brown, oddly shaped, and it was average sized at best. Based on the way it looked alone, it wasn't anything that I wanted inside me.

Needless to say, we didn't end up doing it. Neither one of us had protection anyway, so it wasn't going down either way. I was very disappointed though, because a) I was faded and I didn't get any, b) I had high hopes for getting down with J, and c) because I spent my first night in DC not in my fabulous hotel room down the street from the Capitol, but with the nipple gnawer with the odd penis. It goes to show you that although someone may be very attractive, that may be all they have going for themselves. J was sexy, but his personality is mediocore at best, he's a bad kisser, and I would bet my favorite pair of gold loafers that he is a bad lay.

The physical attraction I once had for J has completed vanished. And sadly enough, he is probably going around gnawing on peoples' titties and irritating coochies from MD to DC to VA. Sad.

*Off to go put some cocoa butter on my nipples.*