first post of 08

7 days into the new year, happy new year to everyone!

I feel like I just came out of hibernation. I was in a pretty dark mood for most of December, but now that the holidays are over and 2008 is here I can start fresh and hit the ground running.

Looking back, last year was blah. 2007 was some sort of weird phase for me. I didn't travel anywhere, I didn't experience anything out of the ordinary, I grew to detest my job after I got promoted. 2007 was very stagnant for me. The feeling of being immobile permeated my entire life. It got to a point where I had enough and I decided that I needed to make some changes in my life. I began to see that some of the immobility was self-imposed. I wanted to get published but I never wrote or submitted any pieces. I wanted a healthy relationship but I was wasting my time on situations that were damaging to me. I wanted another job but I didn't submit my resume because I was comfortable in the job I was in. I think I hit a wall or something because one day I woke up and said to myself, "I'm sick of this, something has to change."

I guess getting fed up is what it takes sometimes. I needed to get back to me and instead of constantly saying "I wish..." I needed to get up off my ass and make things happen.

I sought out inspiration. I went back and read some old journal entries from a couple of years ago, and based on the tone of my words I seemed like someone who was confident, curious about the world, ambitious, and free-spirited. I had crazy energy at that time. I realized that I'm the same person I was then, just a little more mature now with more life experience. I needed to get back to that person. I prayed, I cried, I meditated, I reflected; and after I was done I felt like my soul was cleansed. I realized that I contained the power to make things happen in my life.

So far this year I've been taking steps to get back to me. I'm looking for some writing classes, the job search is promising, I'm surrounding myself with positive people...and slowly but surely I'm getting my swagger back. BGI's mama didn't raise no punk, I'm about to make some moves in this world.

peace