Only in the 'hood: Friday afternoon coonery

I seem to witness the most random shit on a regular basis. Case in point: I'm in line at the car wash waiting to get the whip shined up, and what pulls up behind me but a pink Impala with Lamborghini doors? If that wasn't bad enough, this heffa had a pink boa lining the dashboard, pink furry seat covers, and pink rims. Why must I cry?

At least they weren't spinners. I would have died right then and there.

Oh, but it gets better. The driver was blasting Lil' Boosie's "Wipe Me Down." When that song went off, the next track was "Ay Bay Bay." Who wants the bet that the next track on the playlist was "Crank That Soulja Boy"?

I'm sure you're thinking that the owner of this vehicle is prolly some young girl who has been overexposed to BET. But no! The person that hopped out the car had to be at least 30. I would guesstimate between 30-35. Damn shame.

She was coordinated with the car, though. She had on black pants, a pink and black polka dot top, and false eyelashes. She looked like a ghetto Minnie Mouse. Despite all this, she was a really nice, approachable person. She offered me and the guy next to me car freshener (I politely declined) and struck up a convo with the person next to me. After ear hustlin' for 5 minutes I learned that Minnie was the Assistant Manager at the grocery store, that the lamborghini doors costed $900 (what a fucking waste!), and that the car had not only been repainted several times, but it has been vandalized several times too. No! Seriously? It's unfathomable why someone would vandalize that eyesore.

Also amusing was that another Impala pulled up, but this one was red and white racer striped with red rims. Definitely not a car that you would want to drive in some neighborhoods. Now that I think about it, this driver may have accidentally drove in the wrong 'hood, because he had on an eye patch. The Blood-mobile wasn't fucking with Minnie Mouse though. Wipe me down.