Pondering the Proposition

The ex-pseudo has been hitting me up on the regular these days. We've been kicking it a little bit on the friendship tip. It's been cool. Although he fucked me over on my birthday last year, over time we became cool again and eventually became friends. This negro threw me for a loop yesterday though.

Yesterday when we were talking on the phone he passively mentioned that he was going through a dry spell, and I suggested he get back out in the dating field. He said he wasn't really interested in doing that, a couple of reasons being that he wants to focus on work and he just doesn't really feel like dealing with a lot of the chicks he encounters. Understandable. So I said, as a joke, "well maybe you should go buy some." He was like, "I'm not about to do that," and blah blah blah. So then he said maybe we can start getting up again. I told him no, because I'm seeing someone right now. He responds with: "well maybe we can set up a business arrangement."

Business arrangement huh? From what I gathered dude wants some kind of thing going with me where we hang out, kick it, and fuck each other. But he wants to pay me for it.

I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not thinking about it. I had never actively considered having a sugar daddy. I'm a womanist, and I don't believe in using your body as a commodity to be bought and sold, but dammit if this offer isn't tempting. I already dated the guy before, the sex was fantastic, and things were going fine between us until he fucked that off. The only difference between then and now would be that the former pseudo would now be my sugar daddy.

Is it wrong to have a sugar daddy? People look down on women who use men for money, but in all honesty I've always been in awe of women like that. I found it intriguing how they could use their womanly wiles to get what they want from men. And if you want keep it really real, aren't we all bought and sold on some level? Think about how you spend 40 plus hours per week.

I think the important thing is to maintain control over your body and stay within your comfort zone. I think it becomes a problem when you get to the point where you feel like you're selling yourself out and/or you're doing things that you really don't want to do with people you really don't want to do it with. In my situation I was on the fence about fucking with the pseudo again, but the presidential faces definitely offer an incentive.

The litmus test is: do you feel like you're compromising your integrity? Do you still respect yourself after you're done? Because you can fuck someone without them giving you anything at all and feel very shitty afterward.

I may be met with a lot of disagreement on this one, but these are just my thoughts. Peace.