Um...really?

Hello, and welcome again to the randomness that is my life. This is going to be a long ass post, so grab your drinks and read on. I think the last time I posted I made a reference to Mr. No Car, this really sweet guy I was seeing who has a whack ass dating resume.

I wouldn't say something like that just to be harsh. Well, I probably would but it's really true. Aside from the fact that he doesn't have a car, which is an anomaly in Los Angeles, he's sort of whack all around.

In the blink of an eye Mr. No Car has shown his ass. Let me rewind a little.

Mr. No Car and I had been hanging out on the regular for a couple months. It was all pretty much hanging out, because he never took me on a date. I suggested we go out and do something, anything, on several occasions but for some reason or another things always fell through. It didn't really matter to me, because I see other men, who I go out with all the time. I just thought it would have been nice to kick it with Mr. NC outside of the confines of his apartment.

Mr. NC is one of those "bout to" niggas. "I was about to play for the NFL, but I got hurt." Or, "I was about to start modeling for [insert famous name here], but [something] happened." Another one: "I was going to go the college, but [insert excuse here]. Damn, can you name something that you were "about" to do, that you actually achieved? I can let the first "bout to" slide, because sometimes shit happens, but I'm noticing a pattern here.

So even though I thought Mr. NC was an underachiever with no car, I still kicked it with him. There was some attraction there, so I figured I would be one of those ideal FWB* situations. Not like a pseudo-boyfriend situation, but one where both parties enjoy each others company and fuck the shit out of each other. My thinking was, well, I don't want to be with Mr. NC like that, but he's sexy. So why not keep him around for the D? I need a new ED* anyway.

It looks like I'm going to have to keep looking for that new ED. Last week, Mr. NC and I were about to get it in. We were buzzing, we had the music playing, it was about to go down. We had the foreplay action going on, the whole she-bang. Then, something happened. Or rather, something didn't happen. Let's say...how can I put this? You know what, fuck it, I'm not real good with the euphemisms...Mr. NC couldn't get it up.

We tried. I tried jacking him off, he tried eating my pussy, but he was still having difficulties. He asked me for some head but I said HELL NO, I only do that with people I actually like. You're just aiight, Mr. NC. For a second I thought I was contributing to his flaccid status, but it couldn't be, I'm way too sexy and fly for that. (Vain moment of the day.)

I wasn't about to sit there and figure out why this 27 year old man needed Viagra, so I put on my clothes and bounced.

Fast forward a week later, Mr. NC invited me over to smoke with him. Btw, this guy has no car, no money to take me out on a date, but he ALWAYS has weed. Cush, specifically. For those of you that don't partake, cush is high grade weed that is pretty costly compared to other types. Dude got money to buy weed but he can't take ya girl to Roscoe's. Damn.

Anyway, we smoked and we were chillin. I had stopped by his house after work, so I hadn't planned on staying long. After smoking and kicking with him for a spell I told him I had to go. He looked at me weird and was like, "Is everything ok?" I told him everything was cool, but I had to go. I had shit to do. I got up and he walked me to the door. I walked outside the door and turned to give him a goodbye hug. He slams the door in my face. Word?

Ok really ya'll, this is a long post. Part II tomorrow.





*FWB: friends with benefits. Hey, sometimes it works.
*ED: emergency dick in the glass. Every woman has one, whether she admits it or not.