Jet Setting to South Beach

After four glorious sun-drenched drunken days, I'm back home. I went to Miami Beach for the Meat Market.....oops, I meant Memorial Day weekend. It was my first time going to Miami. Its a beautiful place where its always 10,000 degrees and oppressively humid. The nightlife there is sick. The bars and clubs pop off until sunrise. The water is crystal clear and warm. Its like an urban paradise.

Picturesque South Beach turns into the Meat Market District during Memorial Day weekend. My best friend and I decided to go to Miami to celebrate her birthday. I knew it would be crackin out there during the holiday weekend, but I didn't know what to expect. Black people from all over the country congregated on South Beach this weekend for Black Beach Week. It had to be over 30,000 people out there. You could barely walk down the street. The worst of the worst definitely represented. I've never seen that many gold teeth on men and women in my entire life. Even the whiteys who wanted to be down had grills. Hoochies everywhere walking around nearly nude. I'm not exaggerating. Pimps had their hoes out, and dudes were grabbing females on the arms as a way of approaching them and disrespecting them when they are non-responsive. When I went to Wet Willie's, in the span of 30 minutes I observed a drunken white girl vomiting and being carried away by her friends, a big ass black dude mooning us, and two people getting arrested. And that was on Thursday. I believe there had been 300 arrests in South Beach between Thursday and Saturday. It was crazy out there.

I don't mean to imply that I didn't have a good time in Miami. It was fabulous. I fell in love with the place while I was there. I hung out with my friends, and made some amazing new ones. If the humidity didn't kill my hair, I would think about living there. Well, the hurricanes are an issue too. The nightlife is the shit, the scenery is beautiful, and Southern people are very friendly and hospitable. I really like that. That is severely lacking in LA. People out here tend to be aloof. I am too sometimes when I don't feel like being bothered. Its also very diverse in Miami, which is important to me. There are many Caribbean people out there. Its a different flavor out there, and I appreciated it.

Needless to say, I will be making future trips to Miami Beach. But not for Memorial Day weekend. Not so some big country ass 'bama named Turk can grab my ass.